Newspapers are a science unto their own. The reason they are still printed in columns is related to psychology - though perhaps not related to the mesmerizing characteristics of the business column. You are getting sleepy. We are able to read and retain information better in shorter rows and longer columns. It is less tiring for the eyes and thus, we are able to read more. Really, this is as much about energy conservation. The shorter the lines, the less we need to track across with the tiny wee muscles of our eyeball. But what about the large print editions? Nope. Too many trees needed. So alas, there are reading glasses. Great. Just what we need, another pair of glasses to cart around, sit upon, lose... A friend just went on a vacation with her mother, who not only had her glasses, but her reading glasses, glasses for short distance, glasses for long distance and glasses for the sun (in various distances). Thank god for the bifocal lenses, and tri-focals, quad-focals and graduated lenses. Soon, we'll only be able to see the world in thin bands. Today is Bifocal Day, so put away those reading glasses, and watch your step. You are getting sleepy.
You are now very relaxed. You are floating. When you hear the sound of a car horn, you are going to have an unexplained urge for taffy. You are going to want delicious, gooey, sweet, taffy. You will not be able to resist. When you wake, you will not remember any of this. You will only know that when you hear a car horn, you will want taffy. (Behold the power of hypnosis.2. Oh the people at National Taffy Day headquarters are going to love me). When I clap my hands you will awake.
1. Franz Mesmer references from Wikipedia.
2. Borrowed from the Crispy Crunch ad series. Love it. (I have an unexplained urge for a Crispy Crunch. Hmm