Saturday, May 3, 2008

Home Brew and Pregnancy

May 3, 2008 - The sun may one day boil off the oceans, and humanity as we know it will cease to exist. But never fear, we will leave a legacy of celebrations and days that will surely leave the next civilization to beg their gods that they were not spawns of us. For today, this, the third day of May, is the day we celebrate "Lumpy Rug Day".

Ah, the lumpy rug. Would it be anything like sitting on lumpy dirt, cross-legged, and 'ohm'ing' away on Garden Meditation Day? I don't know that I can meditate amongst the critters and the slugs. I once very much enjoyed escargot. I then moved to BC and viewed my first slug. I'm out. Brings on a wave of anxiety every time I find one of these slimy snails sans shells. Good thing its National Anxiety Disorders Screening Day (And on a Saturday. Who wants to ruin the weekend with a screening?)

Hell, I don't want to ruin my weekend with confusion either. Saturday is Sun Day. But Sunday is Respect for Chickens Day (more on that one tomorrow).

Saturday is Join Hands Day, and National Homebrew Day - but also National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.

It is National Raspberry Popover Day and National Chocolate Custard Day, but also Tighty Whitey Appreciation Day.

Honestly, after the custard and popovers, washed down with a bit of homebrew... I don't think I could appreciate the Tighty Whities. Now I understand why May 3 is also Dismal Day.

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