Monday, April 30, 2012

Monday, April 30, 2012 - There have been many days when I've got up to the sound of someone calling my name, and each and every time I wake up thinking "What now?". Well, today, it was to find out that the hamster had escaped her cage and is running free in the house somewhere. I'd step on it's tail if I found her... but she is a rat without a tail. What use is a stump of a tail when trying to catch a hamster?

All rodents are rats of some variety.  There are hamsters - which are nothing more than rats without a tail. There are moles - rats with bad eyesight. There are voles - which are rats on the hunt - and sometimes the seeing eye rats of said moles. There is the capybura - sumo rats. There's the porcupine - rats with pricks. There are lemmings - the retards of the rat world. There are groundhogs and prairie dogs - rats with good legs.  And there are squirrels - rats with good hair.

We can appreciate the squirrels (though not today - Squirrel Appreciation day isn't until January).  After all, who doesn't appreciate a good hairdo? If we didn't think hairstyles were so important, we'd all be walking around with bouffants and mullets. The hair product industry wouldn't offer so much choice, and hair colours would come in blonde, brown, black, and ginger. Hairstyle defines so many of us. For uncle Bill, having hair would be a new style - a bouffant or an afro... wouldn't matter.

Whether your hair is natural or coloured, straight or curly, long or short, full or thin, there or bare, your hair has a style - even when it has no style at all.  There was a hot pink iroquois coming out of the escalator by Microsoft yesterday. It's arguable that this was even a style at all. Today, there is no matter. It is Hairstyle Appreciation Day. It is also National Honesty Day. So if you see a "style" and you don't like it so much... you might be forced to say so.  Perhaps this is why the hamster escaped today. Without a tail, she doesn't even have bad hair, and she didn't want to be told the truth.

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