Friday, September 19, 2008

Arrrrr you surrrre?

September 19, 2008 - It was a tough day on the racquetball court. Balls flying here and there. Sweat pouring off the brow. a few bruises, and most certainly a few pints afterwards. Two guys, John Baur and Mark Summers, were having their regular game coloured by a few fun phrases like "That be a fine cannonade."

Ah Rrrrraquetball. Arrrrrrrrrrrre you sure you arrrrrrrrrre up for such a challenge? No? Neither were John and Mark. Seems that after the game, far too many pints of ale, the concept was born, and alas, Talk Like a Pirate Day was born. That be a fine day. Take your wenches and your swashbucklin' mates out to sea and raise a few dollars for your favourite charity.

John and Mark have determined that this year is the Year o' th' Philanthropic Pirate... Your booty should be given away, shaken up and not divvy'd up amongst your crew. Really? A pirate giving away the booty? Obviously this is a day for us non-pirates. There ain't a self-respecting pirate out there would give away the stash.

If International Talk Like a Pirate Day was created in a moment of insanity, imagine the other days that just haven't hit the International radar yet? Arr... I've gots idears festerin' now.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I can haz cheezeburger?

September 18, 2008 - Weeks go by when you don't even think about junk food. You don't even notice the golden arches, the red head with pigtails, the strangely handsome guy with the crown,  or the round head in the box. Then there are days when all you can see when you drive down the road you see chicken, and ice cream, and burgers, and wings every which way your head turns.

So what explains this basal urge for deep fried salt and buttered ice cream? Is it a lunar cycle? Hormonal cycle? Advertising? Who knows exactly what causes this need, but when it hits, it is hard to pass through without a drive through.  The entire fast food industry can thank the person who first but beef in a bun and then topped it with cheese. Ah... Cheeseburgers...  I can haz one?

Today is Cheeseburger Day.  There are days you may want to skip over, Eggplant Day or Mushroom Festival lets say.  But who would skip over a Cheesseburger Day?  Available at every drive through, this is a day that can easily be celebrated.  I recommend celebrating with a side of fries. 

Today in 1851 the New York Times first hit the news stands.  I wonder if they were advertising for Cheeseburgers back then? I bet even in black and white, a good cheeseburger add would be pretty convincing.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

As American as....

September 17, 2008 - What is more American than Fox News? No?... Okay, how about CNN? Morgan Stanley? NBC? Reality Television? When others think of things American they don't always think of the things that Americans think about when they think of things American. Ask an American what is American and you might get Baseball (even though Baseball is a modification on the original English Rounders), Basketball (invented in Canada by Canadian James Naismith at McGill University) or Apple Pie (an old English recipe from early 1300's). The trouble is, neither America or Canada are really cultures unto themselves. We are a blend of all the things our fore fathers brought with them, or imported to alleviate their home sickness or boredom. After all, CNN was decades away, and Electronic Arts was still working on the charcoal drawings for Cricket '87 (1787 that is).

Boredom may actually be the oft forgotten forefather of American culture. Now THAT can be considered American. After all, the more that was invented to save time, the more time we had to fill.

Today, though maybe not as American as pie, we celebrate Apple Dumpling Day. Heck, the Apple Dumpling Gang was pretty American. Maybe today is all about Don Knotts, Tim Conway, Bill Bixby and Slim Pickens. That is surely more American than the dumpling - which is most certainly a European thing. Today is Citizenship Day. Maybe there are a few questions on the Citizenship test about baseball and apple dumplings. My friend will be writing that test one day... wonder if I can influence his study material choices?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Rocking and Rolling

September 16, 2008 - Do you remember when making dinner was as easy as opening a can, pressing the contents in to a shape, and peeling it out? How about when baking a cake was as easy as mixing a few cans together to come up with that perfect cake of the perfect colour? Remember when becoming a sculptor too was as easy as opening a can?

I remember most when those cans only came in a few colours. Red, blue, yellow.... and if you blended them together, you could come up with purple, green, orange.... Ah Play Doh. Those were the days. There was the Play Doh hamburgers that were sometimes a little bit green. The Play Doh hotdogs which had a funny way of looking like lips, but rarely like a hot dog. I was a master of making people out of Play Doh... if the stick person model works. Actually, looking at some of the models in magazines now, I think I was merely ahead of my time. I have recently seen a few models who have a greenish hue about them. That's what happens when you mix carbs with water.

And Play Doh is what happens when you mix flour, food colouring, and some other chemicals with water. There is a little discrepancy between the patent office and the Hasbro website. It's seems the patent for Play-doh was issued in 1955 to a guy from Ohio who wanted a safe toy for his kids. Hasbro says it was a newfound use for a soap and cleaning compound in 1956 and called it PLAY-DOH. Regardless of where it originated, or those three fabulous colours it started as, you can now get a 50th Anniversary Pack of 50 colours. I bet those hamburgers will look much more appetizing today than they did back then. So for National Play Doh Day, go ahead and sculpt your dinner, then smoosh it all back up again and make rocks.

I missed a ton of great days to write about in the past few weeks, including Chocolate Milk Shake Day (September 12), Fortune Cookie Day (September 13), Be Late for Something Day (September 5 - though I can guarantee I inadvertently celebrated this one), Frankenstein Day (August 30) and International Literacy Day (September 8), but I'll be damned if I will miss this one. Today is Collect Rocks Day. Not just Play Doh rocks, but rock rocks. Rocks make up the foundation of so much... gravel, sand, concrete... hiking trails... Where ever your travels take you today, be sure to stop and admire the rocks. They come in a great range of colours, sizes, shapes... so much to collect. How about a scoop of Rocky Road Ice Cream? Rent Rocky? Rocky 2? 3? Watch a little Flintstones? Listen to a little Rock n' Roll? So many options, such a short 24 hours. I may have to settle for making a rock out of my hot pint Play Doh and calling it "Pebbles."

Monday, September 15, 2008

Felt Hats and Free Software

September 15, 2008 - There are excuses and there are no excuses. I... deserve no excuses. I have been trying to figure out a way to balance life, work, fun, and writing and sadly, the writing has taken a back seat to my social calendar and my love of a new job. That new job has me out of the house at 06:45 each morning, and until recently, I was under the impression that 06:45 was an urban legend. I had heard of this early morning thing, but thought that a thorough internet search would find that there was no such thing. Indeed, I was hoping that my research would show there are late nights, and late mornings only. It turns out this 06:00 hrs thing is indeed real.

That job starts early, but I am enjoying it more than I thought I would. I have traded in my high heels for steel toed boots, and traded in a great haircut for a fine, firm, brain bucket. Yes, I spend a few days here and there wearing a hard hat. I'm a long way from media spokesperson and communications director, but honestly... I can't remember having this much fun at work. My work is a little like going to kindergarten each day. I never know what I'm going to learn, or what cool new toy I'm going to get to play with.

My stylist likely doesn't think much of my hard hat. It plays havoc with the do, but if something fell on my head, my brains would have somewhere to go. If I were wearing a felt hat, my brains might seep through and spill out on to the floor. But a felt hat would indeed be more stylish. Today is Felt Hat Day. Might be a great day to pop a feather in to your chapeau and sing a song. It is also Sing Out Day so go ahead... be jaunty. Flaunt your hat and your song....

Oh oooo....
I've been working on the railroad.
All the live long day.
I've been working on the railroad,
please don't take my brain bucket away.

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