Thursday, May 3, 2012

May Day May Day

Tuesday, May 1, 2012 - There's a phrase that I really have a hard time with, and yet you hear it often enough to make you wonder if it's true. If you give something to someone and then subsequently take it back it's said to be "Indian Giving,"making you an "Indian Giver."

So let's think about that.  The term was in the 1860 Dictionary of Americanisms referencing the thought that whenever an Indian gave anything away, "he expects something equivalent back or to have his gift returned".¹

Then there were the English.  On May 1st, 1328, the English gave Scotland back their own Kingdom. The wars of Scottish Independence ended in a treaty that had the Kingdom of England recognizing the Kingdom of Scotland. On May 1st, 1707 - the 'Act of Union' once again saw the English take Scotland's independence away and formed the United Kingdom.  And Scotland has been itching for its independence ever since.  So... maybe there is something to this "Indian Giving", but the English had that covered centuries before.  May 1 is now largely recognized as May Day, which was once a celebration of spring, and Maypoles, and dancing, and festivals, but that was soon taken over by the labour movement - like a union on a factory - like Oprah on a ham - like a fat kid on a Smartie - like a union boss on a rampage.

May Day now is often marked with union marches, touting brotherhood (with non-relatives and the lazy fat guy who sleeps on the job but won't be fired because of his seniority), and solidarity. It is no wonder these marches often turn to ugly protest, often by self proclaimed anarchists who bask in every syllable of Sol i dar it y. What's hard to understand is that if someone feels so passionate about that solidarity, about not conforming, about anti-rule, why do they have to cover their faces whilst smashing storefronts and lighting rubbish bins? Is there a moral in their strife? 

Would Mother Goose have written a tale about it? There was an anarchist, lived in a hole, had so many issues they'd  taken their tole. He went to the markets with a bat and a mask, and smashed up the windows in hate he did bask.

So while some may march with their breathren, and some may smash storefronts and call it a cause, some may also want to pull out their Mother Goose collection and celebrate Mother Goose Day.


Monday, April 30, 2012

Monday, April 30, 2012 - There have been many days when I've got up to the sound of someone calling my name, and each and every time I wake up thinking "What now?". Well, today, it was to find out that the hamster had escaped her cage and is running free in the house somewhere. I'd step on it's tail if I found her... but she is a rat without a tail. What use is a stump of a tail when trying to catch a hamster?

All rodents are rats of some variety.  There are hamsters - which are nothing more than rats without a tail. There are moles - rats with bad eyesight. There are voles - which are rats on the hunt - and sometimes the seeing eye rats of said moles. There is the capybura - sumo rats. There's the porcupine - rats with pricks. There are lemmings - the retards of the rat world. There are groundhogs and prairie dogs - rats with good legs.  And there are squirrels - rats with good hair.

We can appreciate the squirrels (though not today - Squirrel Appreciation day isn't until January).  After all, who doesn't appreciate a good hairdo? If we didn't think hairstyles were so important, we'd all be walking around with bouffants and mullets. The hair product industry wouldn't offer so much choice, and hair colours would come in blonde, brown, black, and ginger. Hairstyle defines so many of us. For uncle Bill, having hair would be a new style - a bouffant or an afro... wouldn't matter.

Whether your hair is natural or coloured, straight or curly, long or short, full or thin, there or bare, your hair has a style - even when it has no style at all.  There was a hot pink iroquois coming out of the escalator by Microsoft yesterday. It's arguable that this was even a style at all. Today, there is no matter. It is Hairstyle Appreciation Day. It is also National Honesty Day. So if you see a "style" and you don't like it so much... you might be forced to say so.  Perhaps this is why the hamster escaped today. Without a tail, she doesn't even have bad hair, and she didn't want to be told the truth.

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