Sunday, July 18, 2010

I scream... you scream....

Sunday, 18 July 2010 - It's summer.  It's that time of year when fruit tastes better, water is more refreshing, and fresh washed sheets are more crisp. Logically, the third Sunday of July is Ice Cream Day. When does ice cream taste better than on a hot summer day? Is there a sweeter music than the twangy bell ringing sounds of the Ice Cream Truck's version of Claire de Lune? I'm sure Debussy's remains are rattling with pride (ok, maybe horror) at his moonlight movement becoming synonymous with dirt riddled kids everywhere running home for money for frozen milk on a stick.

What ever became of the Dickie Dee?  Remember this guy? He was a borderline or in-training pedophile, with a modified bicycle/portable freezer, and if you wanted an ice cream  you had to bend over and practically fall in to a cold pit to pick one.  He rarely helped, but often watched with great amusement (from behind). There wasn't a tinny rendition of Debussy there...  just the annoying ring of bells on a bar.  There used to be this ice cream that was literally iced vanilla milk on a stick.  I can't completely describe it's taste, but it was on a stick, wrapped in a white paper with red and black writing.  We would never have such a thing today - it wasn't sealed with military grade wrapper, nor would it be fancy enough to sell.  They were delicious, but they are no more.  Now in order to sell as an ice cream (at $4 a piece), you need exotic nuts, dipped in chocolate, with pieces of chocolate bar, gold leaf, fudge, peanut butter, and a hint of cappuccino.  At McDonalds, you can't get much more than a basic cone unless you want an Aero (chocolate or mint) swirl ice milk blended with mint sauce and chocolate sauce and Skor candy bar pieces and bits of French fry croûton on top.

Ben and Jerry's?  There's another gone over the top ice cream selection.  With flavors like Chubby Hubby, Cake Batter, Mission to Marzipan, Fossil Fuel (made in the Gulf?), Phish Food, Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream....  What the hell are these?  Which one is Ice Cream and not a combination of crap you wouldn't want to eat unfrozen?

To celebrate Ice Cream Day... I recommend trying to find yourself just some plain old ordinary Ice Cream.  It's like a treasure hunt. I wish you luck, and ask that if you find success, please pass on the secret location of the Ice Cream.  If you find a Dickie Dee, I ask that you pass on this location to the local authorities.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for plain ice cream.

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