Saturday, October 18, 2008

Hot flashes? Shave.

Saturday, October 18, 2008 - Stubble. Five o'Clock shadow. Going Don Johnson. Facial fur. Winter face. Grizzly Adams. Playoff beard. Call it what you want... there is no time like the present to rid yourself off the hair that grows on your face. It's No Beard Day and that means today is the day to pull out the razor. Go for it. If you dare go bare, go bare from facial hair.

I suppose there are pros and cons to facial hair. Pro... you save valuable shaving time in the morning. Con... you probably use up all the time you saved in the morning plucking stray lunch bits from your Chin Pet throughout the day. Pro... you look masculine. Con... Grizzly Adams was masculine, but he lived in a hut in the bush with a bear. Pro... Your face is warmer in the cold weather. Con... Warm face cold nose. Pro...You come out looking more mature. Con... most of your gray hair finds its way to the face first screaming "I'm old". Pro... you've made the playoffs. Con... You won't need it come March anyway, the Canucks are already on the golf course.

So what about the summer months? Is there sweat under that beard? When it is hot and humid out, does it get a little damp in all that hair? Imagine if the bearded guys had to experience menopause? Hot flashes and fur? Doesn't seem like a good mix.

Ok, so I'm probably not the best person to talk about menopause. I experience cold flashes. Moments of chills that my grandmother used to tell me meant someone was walking across my grave. At the rate I have these chills, I'm guessing I'm going to be buried somewhere pretty central. Maybe I can get put under the sidewalk of a Starbucks... in a paper cup. I wonder if menopause will be less chilly? The hot flashes sound pretty good right now. I wonder if menopause will be less chilly? Hot flashes sound pretty good right now. What? I said that already?

Today is World Menopause Day. If you know anyone who is experiencing this 'life changing' event... give them a little slack. They won't necessarily remember your name, or where they met you. They might start stripping in the middle of a cold snap. They may borrow another personality for a while, but with any luck, it won't take long. I'm not sure exactly how to celebrate this one. Maybe part of the party means shaving the beard to ease the hot flashes. Worth a try.

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