Wednesday, 7 July 2010 - To tell you the truth, I sometimes write these blogs days ahead, or days behind. I would like to blame the blogging system for the late posts, but alas, I have to be honest. It is me. I get rapt up with the other crap in my life, and rather than sitting down to write, I post-pone in... the last three days posts... were poned. They were Post pones. Ok, that's enough pun ishment for one blog.
Seriously, today is Tell the Truth Day. This is the one day to be truthful in everything. If someone asks you "do these jeans make my butt look big", tell them the truth. Say "gee, I do not find that anything I say to that will make you happy, therefore, I refuse to answer for fear of lying or upsetting". That should be smooth enough. And... in the ensuing argument that will no doubt follow... do not say ANYTHING about her mother unless it is the truth. No wait... do not say ANYTHING about her mother.
But perhaps the toughest person you will have to be truthful with today is yourself. Lying to save us from our own feelings, emotions and fears is something that we all get very good at doing. Indeed we get so good at it, that we don't know we are telling ourselves little white fibs just to get through the day. Do you deserve the chocolate bar calling to you at the till? Of course you do, after all you only had a salad today (with steak, bluecheese, nuts, fried onions with a side of garlic bread). Can I spend the day sitting in the sun with a book? Certainly - you walked everywhere yesterday (to the grocery store three blocks away, the coffee shop that was on the way home, and you did walk down to the mailbox... 1347 steps).
These are the little lies we don't even register. What about the big lies we tell ourselves? I for one, have a very tough exterior. Those around me tell me I am a strong, independent woman who is smart and capable. Inside, I know I am afraid, I need more support than I will ask for, and I second guess everything I do because it probably isn't being done right or with enough thought. In reality, I am not anything like the persona that people seem to believe. Does that make me the consummate liar? Or does that make me human? Do we all lie to ourselves, and about ourselves to make living in this world easier? Do we only lie about the things that we are sure aren't hurting anyone else? In telling these lies to protect the innocent, do we hurt ourselves?
There are so many common little white lies that we hear every day that I think we've come to accept them not for being lies, but for something else. Perhaps they have become filler in our conversations or a way to boost oneself. How about the gift you opened last Christmas that you had zero idea what it was or what it would be used for and you said "Thank you, I love it". Lie. Truth... I have no idea what this is, or what it does. "No officer, I have no idea how fast I was going." Lie. Truth... Shit, I was 25 over the speed limit. I hope he didn't clock me at the worst of it. "I am sure I sent that to you. Let me look in my email." Lie. Truth... I hadn't even started it. It just seemed so insignificant to me. "It wasn't me." Lie. Truth... it was me... it just wasn't worth taking credit for. "I am so glad you called, no.. I wasn't sleeping." Lie again. Truth... I was sound asleep, and I don't know that I even remember the conversation. It must not have been very scintillating.
Well, today is going to be about telling the truth... to myself. I will admit to the chocolate milk on my cereal. I will admit to standing still on the escalators and will attempt to take only the stairs. I will not crap on myself if I don't, but I will not let me off the hook with a little white lie. I too will be honest with those around me. I will not say it will be easy... that would be a lie. I will attempt to protect your feelings, but won't feed you a handful of crap. So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not ask me if you look like you lost any weight, or if the pants do anything for your backside. You don't want to know, and I don't want to tell you the truth.
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