If you eat SPAM a lot, will that bikini fit in time?

July 5, 2008 - So here it is.. summer. Bikini weather. Wreck Beach is hanging and spirits are high. So what I want to know is, how is it the bodies you least want to see in (or out as the case may be) of a bikini are often the ones you have the highest chance of seeing? I thought it was a Vancouver phenomena. Nope. Same thing on St. Martin. Wonder if it is the same on Hanlan's Point?

The bikini began to appear in the US when, in 1943, the government ordered a 10% reduction in the amount of fabric used in women's swimsuits. It was meant to be a rationing effort, but it snowballed. A few years later on July 5, 1946, the French fashion industry ran with it. They premiered the string bikini with a g-string back on the runway and called it the Bikini Atoll (yes, that Atoll). Do you suppose they had any idea what was in store? There is the string bikini, the tankini, the barely there bikini, the yellow polka dot bikini... and they come in all sizes. Today is Bikini Day. I recommend that if you are hitting the beach, you prepare yourself for what you might come across. If you hit one of only two official clothing optional beaches in Canada, you may also want to bring very very dark sunglasses. These serve two purposes... one to hide the ogling, the other to hide the shock.

The bikini has spun an entirely other industry phenomenon... the marketing of bikini diets. Eat lettuce, no just water, no, only carbs, no carbs, pre-packaged, only fresh, raw, vegan, high protein foods and you'll be ready for bikini season. Nowhere in the marketing do they mention the diet benefits of SPAM. You would think Hormel would find a way to market this delicacy as an option.

July 5th is also SPAM Day. It was introduced by Hormel today in 1937. Celebrate with a can of this delicious meat like product. SPAM isn't a delicacy in your world? Really? If the bikini can be named after a nuclear test site, and SPAM will survive nuclear winter, there could be an excellent cooperative marketing effort here. I can see it now... Jam with Spam Bikini Slam.

Between the Broadway hit Spamalot and the downturn in the economy, there has been a run on SPAM at supermarkets across the US. Tie in the bikini campaign, and Hormel will need a new SPAM plant. Good thing rationing of swimsuit materials is over!