Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Stupidity is fuel for fodder.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010 - People can make all kinds of mistakes in their lives.  Mistakes are made at work, that ultimately make you a stronger employee, supervisor or boss. Some mistakes get made with our partners and loved ones.  These mistakes can make a relationship stronger, or break a relationship. More often than not, mistakes are just stupid errors that happen because people have a momentary lapse in judgment or a few too many judgment lapsing beverages. Waking up with a hangover and a feeling that there are holes in the evenings events time line...  truly sets the stage for a perfect storm of stupid mistakes. Ultimately, if you don't wake up with a tiger in the bathroom and a chicken on the piano you should be alright eventually.

The perfect storm for stupid mistakes involves a group of guys, way too much stupid lubricant (shots), good weather, and a reason to celebrate. The reasons to celebrate can range from life changing events to the reasons found on these pages. The reason isn't as critical to the perfect storm as is the rest of the requirements. The shots on the other hand, can range from tequila to Jaggermeister, and can be delivered by a hot bar wench or a homely hairy barkeep. All this and voila, the stupid meter begins to creep up the scale.

Guys really do have the market cornered often on doing stupid things.  So much so that there are many things that by default fall in to the "Stupid Guy Thing" category.  Even when the girls do the same, it is still considered a stupid guy thing.  If  a girl leaves the toilet seat up (from cleaning perhaps??)... stupid guy thing.  Forget a birthday... stupid guy thing.  Not answering the phone... stupid guy thing.  Refuse to ask for directions... stupid guy thing.  These things don't even require stupid lubricant. Women can attempt to fight them, but at some point you have to give in, and just accept that the stupid things that guys do is just part and parcel of the maleness of that half of the species.

It would be in the human race's best interest to accept these behaviours.  Maybe by accepting it, we can then compact all the stupid things in to a short period of time. Give all guys carte blanche to get all their stupid out. Surprise surprise, today is Stupid Guy Thing Day. Get your stupid out boys.  Leave the toilet seat up today, for tomorrow it shall get you in trouble.  Go ahead and get lost, do not ask for directions, and drive the car dry trying to get there... but tomorrow, you better have a map, a Tom Tom, GPS on your phone, and have memorized the phrase "Excuse me, but I'm lost.  Do you know how to get to..."  Today you can change the channel randomly as many times as you want, but touch the remote tomorrow during a re-run of House that you've already sat through twice, and removing the remote will require surgery and a week of you lying on your stomach.

Go ahead and celebrate.  Poke fun at yourself and scratch random bits in public all day long. If you need a little lubricant (and not for remote extraction), do that too.  Heck, hang out with your buddies and do stupid guy things together. It will give me something to write about tomorrow, and probably provide fodder for many more columns.  Today is also Columnist Day.  I'm no Ann Landers (trust me, my relationship advise is NOT worth taking), but I am always game to write about as little as possible in as many words as I feel like typing. Come on guys, I'm counting on you.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Add to Technorati Favorites