Putting your foot in it

Friday, 06 August 2010 - Take a road trip. What else have you got to do on a Friday morning?  But if you are going to get in the car and hit the highway I would recommend sleep.  On the other hand, a middle of the night escape means you can shave nearly an hour of the excursion.  But there is nothing that can describe road trip breath... its a combination of coffee, coke, chocolate, and french fries.  It's like a gritty lint from an old couch on the roof of your mouth and grease at the back of your throat.  Trust me when I say this is not a great way to arrive.  First order of business, brush your teeth, your tongue, your soft pallet, gums, and if you can, the back of your throat.

Problem most people face on a road trip is they rarely pack their toothbrush on top, in an easy to access location.  Fortunately, I am always pretty aware of the location of my dentition scrubber. So the moment I can stop somewhere and get the road off my teeth, I'm all over that action. Today is Fresh Breath Day... also celebrated as Halitosis Day.  Not sure, but that seems a little like saying it is Black Day... or White Day.

Halitosis does not seem something that should be celebrated, but rather stamped out - or brushed out - as the case may be.  Why would you want to celebrate the buzzard breath of the guy next to you in class, or that woman on the elevator yesterday who's breath was so bad is was 'supercalifrajalisticexpehalitosis'.  Legendary. This is not something you would write on a cake unless it was mint. You could send chlorophyl cookies with a card I suppose.  How about a magazine subscription to Oral Hygiene Review? An anonymous Costco sized box of breath mints would work for a co-worker or the mailman. My favourite soap would make an ok breath mint for someone with a both a large and aromatic mouth.

There are so many ways to celebrate today.  How about a garlic and onion pizza?  Personally, I went with pepperoni, cheese, peppers and olives.  Maybe I should have thought to finish this post before the day was almost over. I could have been more selective in my toppings and gone for something with some kick... and some kick back.

August is Foot Health Month.  I suppose it's as good a month as any for a pedicure.  I would think that when you go to put your foot in it, a healthy foot would be best.  On the other hand, perhaps foot in mouth disease is a root cause of Halitosis.