Thursday, May 15, 2008

Nylon Stockings and Machine Guns

May 15, 2008 - Ahh, the Ides of May... the anniversary of Las Vegas, and the machine gun. Las Vegas, Nevada was founded on May 15, 1905 when 110 acres of land was auctioned off - that land is what became the downtown area. Ah, Las Vegas... where the slot machines hold you at gunpoint.

In 1718, a London lawyer named James Puckle patented the world's first machine gun.1 I should be surprised that a machine gun was patented by a lawyer, but maybe Mr. Puckle had already heard the lawyer-thief jokes. Fittingly, today is also Peace Officer Memorial Day. As part of National Police Week, the Memorial Day is a day to remember the many peace officers who have lost their lives in the line of duty - and some likely at the wrong end of a machine gun. We need our police, and they need our respect. They are putting their lives on the line daily for our safety.

Of course it's a couple of days before the long weekend. This means the price of gas will go up completely separate from the price of a barrel of oil, and my gas tank was getting pretty low. On the way home from the golf course I noticed that gas was $1.295/litre. At first I thought 'yippee'... I'm getting deal tonight. The moment was very fleeting, because my next thought was - isn't this oligopolistic collusion a lot like robbery? The only way this would feel any more uncomfortable is if there was station staff standing outside your car with a stocking over their face while they refuel your car.

There is something creepy about the way someone looks when there is a nylon stocking over their head. I wonder if Du Pont knew the many non-leg uses their nylon stockings would have in society back in 1940 when they declared May 15 "N-Day"? You can use the waist band as a giant elastic for around the top of the garbage can to hold the bag in place. Nylons make a great applicator for wood stain, and balled up make a good scrub pad for the sink and tub. Apparently they are also great for buffing wood floors - while being worn or otherwise. The folks at DuPont 68 years ago would be proud. So today - on Nylon Stockings Day, pull off those hose and put them to an unintended use, or just leave them at the pump.

1 comment:

  1. As usual, loved your comments today.
    Keep up the good work


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