Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Do Chickens Work the Nightshift?

May 14, 2008 - I got a call from my Dentist's office today. It's time to book my 6 month cleaning. Even though I never really grew out of my fear of the dentist (I kicked my first dentist in the drill bits wearing patent shoes), I am more afraid of needing actual dental work. So... I floss at red lights, and schedule my 6 month cleanings 3 months apart. Yet today is Root Canal Appreciation Day. I can appreciate NOT getting a root canal. Is that the same thing? I have a very handsome dentist, and could certainly enjoy spending more time in his chair... but a root canal? Would you need to raise a pint of lukewarm beverage to that?

Speaking of toasts, there is no more important toast than that given at a wedding. Most recently, two of my dearest friends got married, and I dreaded giving a toast. How do you put to words the pride you feel, and your hopes for their future? You stumble, you stammer, and put a few words out with your glass raised. You toast, and you drink. It is this drinking that fuels the dancing to come. There is the first dance, the dance with the parents, the dance with the new parents, and then the dreaded Chicken Dance. According to Wikipedia, the Chicken Dance (an oom-pah song) was composed in the 1950's, and has been haunting weddings ever since. Many people have been caught on film participating in the Chicken Dance, including a sad rendition broadcast on YouTube of Vince Neil from Motley Crue doing the Chicken. Then there was the Bert (of Bert and Ernie fame) doing the wah wah... Chicken. And of course that image of great grampa's overweight second cousin at your uncle's wedding doing the Chicken Dance. You may never recover from that childhood trauma. It's said the Chicken Dance is the great equalizer - that everyone can do it, and everyone doing it looks equally silly. However, is this reason enough to have a Dance Like a Chicken Day? I'm not sure there were enough toasts. Quick, someone clink a glass.

Given that most weddings happen at night does that mean that Chickens are working the nightshift? Today is also National Nightshift Workers Day. Am I the only one that sees something wrong with this?

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