Trash Talk and Magazines

Friday, November 7, 2008 - Ever notice that the trashiest rag mags are always at the checkout stands? No matter how much you try to deny it, you just can’t stop yourself from reading the covers. You may even pick it up and flip through the pages until it is your turn to pay. Then you quickly put it down, with a look of disgust and disbelief on your face – on the off chance the next person in line caught you with the ‘publication’ in your hand. It’s almost worse than your secret need to watch TMZ. I have to admit it. I watch TMZ. I go out of my way to watch TMZ. I would NEVER however admit to such de regeur. But seriously? The blonde fella with the long hair and that to die for smile? I’m not much in to the surfer look, but strap me to a board and call me Gidget.

From the monotone newsprint magazines of the past, to Emags and online forums – People to Mad Magazine, from Time to the National Enquirer, magazines have come a long way baby. News magazines seem to be falling off those checkout counter racks and being replaced by “In Touch”, “Globe”, “Hello”, “OK”, “Celebrity Hairstyles” and “Soap Opera Digest”. It is as though the news that is fit to print has gone the way of the Dodo…. turning us all IN to Dodos. If you want to access the magazines that contain actual news, thought provoking articles, and commentaries on the state of the planet, you need to turn to your computer on. Newspapers are another apparent dinosaur set.
Newspapers once held a place of importance nearer the checkouts. Today, if you want a paper, they are in racks past the checkouts. You don’t see them until you’ve paid the bill and are unlikely to get back in the line-up and have to stand there through another price check for feminine hygiene products that you know is only being done because buddy in front of you is embarrassed to be picking up for the girlfriend in the first place.

There are still a handful of fabulous magazines that have stood the test of stupidity. Scientific American, though they increased the number of ad pages, is still a thoroughly fascinating read. Men’s Health and Women’s Health have lots of great information and Mental_Floss and Vanity Fair offer up hours of entertainment. Reading a magazine online is alright. The content is there. But that tactile experience of flipping pages with a magazine on your knees while you lean back in to the sofa is missing. Sure I lean back with my computer on my knees, but my knees get too warm, and when I fall asleep, the computer makes a heck of a ruckus when it hits the floor. Today is Magazine Day. Now that the rains have come, I think I’ll stop on the way home and pick up a couple magazines for the weekend. I see slippers, and mugs of steaming hot coffee, and falling asleep on the sofa with the pages of a magazine stuck to my cheek in my future.

There are other reasons to celebrate, and tonight is the night the ladies don the pants and do the asking. It’s Sadie Hawkins Day. You know, 40 years ago, this day probably had some meaning. In today’s dating world, the women seem to do as much inviting as the men anyway. In honour of Sadie, I've asked a not so blond fella to a movie. Oh heck, forget Sadie Hawkins. Grab a magazine and a remote and invite yourself out for a night of page turning.