Tuesday, 6 July 2010 - The internet brought about an entirely new industry of skills and professions. There is graphic web design, there is hosting, there is large data storage and optimization. There are thousands of people who's job is to buy, sell and analyze web advertising. An entire stream of jobs hover around the YouTube site, and don't forget YouTube program hosts. There is internet porn jobs that range from "talent" to downstream sales (not sure that sounds right... but it does sound dirty). The online porn industry probably has a large number of large storage specialists on their rosters... and girls whose names end in "i".
Every type of business in every country can be found online. That means there must be enough webmasters out there to fill a medium sized country. If you were to fill a state with only those webmasters from iPorn you would need Texas. (This might not be that bad a state... with that many iPorn Masters, there would have to be a lot less republicans.) Whatever your business needs are, or your business's focus, your website is no longer a nice-to-have but a must-have.
I don't think I'm the only one that does MOST of my research on anything... tattoos, restaurants, wines, liposuction, gun courses... without going to the internet first. I look up locations, reviews, prices, previous work, maps to get there, and more all before picking up the phone. And ultimately, I only pick up the phone if the company's webmaster hasn't yet built a way for me to communicate quickly online. Can I make a reservation or book an appointment online like I can getting to the geek bar at the Apple store? Can I find out if a table for 6 is available at 19:30? Can I send an image that looks like something I want permanently etched on to my body before I get there? The website is no longer a colourful Yellow Pages ad and I am, quite frankly, offended when that is all I am getting. Give me features. Give me a reason to shut down the computer and see you in person... but not because I'm frustrated that you couldn't answer my questions before hand. I want to see you in person because your pages are fabulous, you understood my wants, and you had some really cool shit on your site.
iPorn sites have an ace in the bag (ooh... another bad reference). When people go to their sites, its pretty clear what they are looking for. They want porn, they want it annonymously, and they want it now. They don't want to then call in, book and appointment, fill out an information form, or even give you a name. If you want a name you are probably going to get some name like John Smith. Hmm... I wonder what is the most common fake name given to a porn site? The webmasters of these sites must have a convention or something. Webmasters of ANY site deserve a little pat on the back once and a while. For good websites, they deserve more than pats. Today is Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day. If the site is good and you are drawing kudos from your customers and fans... take them somewhere nice. If the site is eh... street meat (hotdogs, not hookers).
Today is also Fried Chicken Day. If your site is of the porn variety, I recommend giving your webmaster a bucket of chicken, delivered... with napkins. A slippery keyboard should be reserved for those late night content changes and bandwidth issues.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Live to work....
Monday, 5 July 2010 - Having a life outside of work is a ton of work. I find it so much easier to get up, put on my work wear, go do what they pay me to do, and come home to do it all again tomorrow. With work, I usually know what to expect. I can do the job with some level of proficiency, and at the end of each two week rotation, they pay me for doing the job. And in the end, it is just so much easier to go to work than it is to not work.
Work is a known, quantifiable, predictable entity. In some ways this is what is so appealing about work. Work can also involve a lot of change and challenge, which too is incredibly appealing. When work is constant change and much challenge, I don't think too much about my not at work life. When work gets a little predictable, I start to look at my not at work life and wonder what the hell I'm doing with the non-work days. I spend some of that time getting ready to be at work... laundry, lunches.... But away from getting ready for work on non-work days, I find the rest of that time rather stressful and, frankly, down right depressing.
I made a promise to myself two and a half years ago that I would not continue to live to work, but would rather work to live. On paper (and on a computer screen), this looks easy enough. But then along came some very challenging work with lots of change, lots of opportunity, and was a project with a fast approaching deadline. Work was exhilarating. There just wasn't enough time for life outside of work. As a result I missed C's entire first year, lost touch with my family, lost touch with my friends, and worse, forgot how to get to Whiterock. Honestly, I loved every second of it. Work defines me. Sad, but true.
Well, the deadline was made, the project finished on budget and early, and then the day to day operations began. Finally, I had time to once again re-connect with the people outside of work (re-re-connected?). I re-visited (re-re-visited) my work-to-live promise. Then came the Olympics. Another project, and another fast approaching and unmovable deadline. Wahoo.... work work work. Now I have to re-re-re-connect with friends and family, and here I am, on Workaholic Day re-re-re-visiting my work-to-live plan.
The thing about us workaholics... we rely on work to keep us sane. We rely on work to distract us from the rest of our lives, because we all work too hard to have them. Work is a distraction that keeps us from facing the reality of our lives. Don't know what I'm afraid to look at... there isn't anything there of which to be afraid. There isn't a bad relationship to worry about... there isn't a relationship to be bad. There isn't screaming kids to come home to... there isn't any kids. There aren't too many social engagements to be late for, cause there isn't that many social engagements. Am I afraid that I will look and see a void? A void could be looked at as a blank canvas. A blank canvas could be an opportunity whereby I get to create the life that I work to support.
It is workaholic day and I am proud to say that I have the day off. Granted it is part of my regularly scheduled days off, but we don't have to focus on that part do we? Tell you what... I will not look at the Blackberry all day. Well, maybe only to check my mail. Baby steps.
Work is a known, quantifiable, predictable entity. In some ways this is what is so appealing about work. Work can also involve a lot of change and challenge, which too is incredibly appealing. When work is constant change and much challenge, I don't think too much about my not at work life. When work gets a little predictable, I start to look at my not at work life and wonder what the hell I'm doing with the non-work days. I spend some of that time getting ready to be at work... laundry, lunches.... But away from getting ready for work on non-work days, I find the rest of that time rather stressful and, frankly, down right depressing.
I made a promise to myself two and a half years ago that I would not continue to live to work, but would rather work to live. On paper (and on a computer screen), this looks easy enough. But then along came some very challenging work with lots of change, lots of opportunity, and was a project with a fast approaching deadline. Work was exhilarating. There just wasn't enough time for life outside of work. As a result I missed C's entire first year, lost touch with my family, lost touch with my friends, and worse, forgot how to get to Whiterock. Honestly, I loved every second of it. Work defines me. Sad, but true.
Well, the deadline was made, the project finished on budget and early, and then the day to day operations began. Finally, I had time to once again re-connect with the people outside of work (re-re-connected?). I re-visited (re-re-visited) my work-to-live promise. Then came the Olympics. Another project, and another fast approaching and unmovable deadline. Wahoo.... work work work. Now I have to re-re-re-connect with friends and family, and here I am, on Workaholic Day re-re-re-visiting my work-to-live plan.
The thing about us workaholics... we rely on work to keep us sane. We rely on work to distract us from the rest of our lives, because we all work too hard to have them. Work is a distraction that keeps us from facing the reality of our lives. Don't know what I'm afraid to look at... there isn't anything there of which to be afraid. There isn't a bad relationship to worry about... there isn't a relationship to be bad. There isn't screaming kids to come home to... there isn't any kids. There aren't too many social engagements to be late for, cause there isn't that many social engagements. Am I afraid that I will look and see a void? A void could be looked at as a blank canvas. A blank canvas could be an opportunity whereby I get to create the life that I work to support.
It is workaholic day and I am proud to say that I have the day off. Granted it is part of my regularly scheduled days off, but we don't have to focus on that part do we? Tell you what... I will not look at the Blackberry all day. Well, maybe only to check my mail. Baby steps.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
If you could be invisible for just one day...
Sunday, 4 July 2010 - There is so much that could be obvious about today's post. I could follow up on the July 1st post and talk about celebrating Independence Day in Canada but truly, there isn't much of a celebration to write about. I had a little shop (just tee shirts), a little breaky, and then off to work. Alas, there was no vacation on this side of the 49th, and no stat pay. There sure won't be any fireworks and I suspect there won't be that many crazies out riding around on public transit.
But the day is all about going unnoticed. July 4 is Invisible Day. Is it akin to 'fly on the wall day' or is it more like 'oh wo is me day'. There are days that everyone can feel a little invisible. These days can be brought on by bouts of pity (that one is me), they can be brought on by a sense of failure (again... could be me), or they can be brought on by the super powers of another dimension and can make the rest of the world jealous as hell. Well, it would if they could see you.
If you could be invisible for just one day, what would you do with that day? Would you hang out in the dressing room of the Seahawks and admire the offensive line? (Hey... now THAT really does sound like me.) Would you walk amongst your office mates and superiors to hear what they won't say to you? Would you sit in on the dark backroom negotiations of the G20 summit and then use the information to potentially really make a difference? Or, would you use it to play pranks on people all day long? If it were me, I would want to spend it in the dressing room of the Seahawks playing pranks on the offense, defense, and special teams. I mean come on...
It was also on July 4th that Lewis Carol told a story to Alice Liddell that would eventually become the story of Alice in Wonderland. In celebration of this great tale... every time I think of the boys in the dressing room, wearing their towels and their smiles, I too will be smiling... like a Cheshire Cat.
But the day is all about going unnoticed. July 4 is Invisible Day. Is it akin to 'fly on the wall day' or is it more like 'oh wo is me day'. There are days that everyone can feel a little invisible. These days can be brought on by bouts of pity (that one is me), they can be brought on by a sense of failure (again... could be me), or they can be brought on by the super powers of another dimension and can make the rest of the world jealous as hell. Well, it would if they could see you.
If you could be invisible for just one day, what would you do with that day? Would you hang out in the dressing room of the Seahawks and admire the offensive line? (Hey... now THAT really does sound like me.) Would you walk amongst your office mates and superiors to hear what they won't say to you? Would you sit in on the dark backroom negotiations of the G20 summit and then use the information to potentially really make a difference? Or, would you use it to play pranks on people all day long? If it were me, I would want to spend it in the dressing room of the Seahawks playing pranks on the offense, defense, and special teams. I mean come on...
It was also on July 4th that Lewis Carol told a story to Alice Liddell that would eventually become the story of Alice in Wonderland. In celebration of this great tale... every time I think of the boys in the dressing room, wearing their towels and their smiles, I too will be smiling... like a Cheshire Cat.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Attention shoppers, there is a limited time deal on beans....
Friday, 2 July 2010 - Attention Walmart Shoppers... there is a special today on cat chow and ammunition. Do you ever have one of those days when you wake up, shower, get dressed, head out the door and then accidentally catch your likeness in a pane of glass on the way in to the office tower? You know those days when you were pretty sure you looked better when you left the house than when you arrived at work... only to discover that your own mirror may have you deceived. It's not a full on full length mirror crisis, but it does trigger full on reflection reflection. Which reflection is accurate? Odds are the one you saw when you left the house is the better bet. Is it double or triple-pane glass? That reflection could then be a merged view of two or three images.
No matter how bad a day I might be having about what I've put on to be in public, or what I saw as I passed by the Holt Renfrew display windows... there is a web site that can always lift my spirits. I'm sure the emails have made it in to you inbox once in a while, but folks, let me just say this once... if you have doubts whether or not the outfit is fit for public consumption, it probably isn't. Just take a short visit to www.PeopleOfWalmart.com. Sorted by state, there are a few states that are more frightening than others, but here in Washington, there is plenty people of Walmart to give you the willies enough to check all reflections you come across just to be sure you are not website material.
Sam Walton probably had no idea what was to come when he opened the first Walmart on this day in 1962 in Rogers, Arkansas. However, that being said, check out the Arkansas state pictures. They have got to be some of the best. Maybe he not only knew what was to come, but could appreciate the retail genious of giving all those folks who do not get dressed up enough for a trip to the Big K somewhere to congregate, buy ammunition and stock up on cat food and baked beans.
When the weather warms up, the same folks you'll find at Walmart will be invading our beaches and parks... in wife beaters and bathing suits no doubt. They will pack up picnic lunches with all the good sandwich fixins and beans they could carry. But in keeping with a theme, July is Baked Beans Month. I bet there will be a few great specials in the canned goods aisles. Shop on. Just, wear shoes, a shirt that fits, and pants that, at the bare minimum, cover your glutes. And please please please check for skid marks. Thank you for shopping at Walmart, and have a nice day.
No matter how bad a day I might be having about what I've put on to be in public, or what I saw as I passed by the Holt Renfrew display windows... there is a web site that can always lift my spirits. I'm sure the emails have made it in to you inbox once in a while, but folks, let me just say this once... if you have doubts whether or not the outfit is fit for public consumption, it probably isn't. Just take a short visit to www.PeopleOfWalmart.com. Sorted by state, there are a few states that are more frightening than others, but here in Washington, there is plenty people of Walmart to give you the willies enough to check all reflections you come across just to be sure you are not website material.
Sam Walton probably had no idea what was to come when he opened the first Walmart on this day in 1962 in Rogers, Arkansas. However, that being said, check out the Arkansas state pictures. They have got to be some of the best. Maybe he not only knew what was to come, but could appreciate the retail genious of giving all those folks who do not get dressed up enough for a trip to the Big K somewhere to congregate, buy ammunition and stock up on cat food and baked beans.
When the weather warms up, the same folks you'll find at Walmart will be invading our beaches and parks... in wife beaters and bathing suits no doubt. They will pack up picnic lunches with all the good sandwich fixins and beans they could carry. But in keeping with a theme, July is Baked Beans Month. I bet there will be a few great specials in the canned goods aisles. Shop on. Just, wear shoes, a shirt that fits, and pants that, at the bare minimum, cover your glutes. And please please please check for skid marks. Thank you for shopping at Walmart, and have a nice day.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Follow up on today's post
Thursday, 1 July 2010 - So the jury is in on the iPad. It took me too long to post the post (probably not any longer than any other post), there are too many errors (possibly not more than most) and it DEFINITELY doesn't fit in my 'breast pocket'. Too hard to conceal. Requires full body harness. Dang it anyway. Oh well... how was your Canada Day? Mine had cake, balloons, surrounded by family. Carry on.
A tartan skirt and a fifth of cake??
Thursday, 1 July 2010 - So today it is Canada Day. Though this is a holiday best celebrated in Canada, I am south of the 49th and in a different zip code entirely. In fact, this post is different than most because I am posting from an iPad of which I have yet to determine if the laptop can be replaced by a larger iPhone. I will reserve all judgement until the end of this post. Should it be full of typos more than normal, blame Steve.
Zip codes are quite a sorting system. It's like the Dewey Decimal System for houses. A way to sort where you live, how much you earn, and your preference in coffee shop without actually asking you anything more than your zip. My current zip would suggest I will be celebrating the fourth of July, but like any good odd ball, I shall spend Canada Day in the USA and Independence Day in Canada. It could have it's challenges. For starters, I ordered a cake on Monday in the shape (should be easy) and pattern (also should be pretty straigh forward) of a Canadian flag for the occasion. I am in the US, not THAT far from the border, and I was asked if I could provide a picture of the flag for the decorator. Who knew the Canadian flag was so unusual? Then I went searching for a Canadian anything to go with the cake. I had to settle for red and white balloons. I still had to pay for the blue ones, I just asked that they not inflate the ones that were blue. Initially I got some confusion, and finally I got some dirty 'you must keep slaves in the garage' looks. I do keep something in the garage, but he doesn't answer to slave anymore. He prefers "porter". This is a zip code that you would be convinced is miles away from all other civilization. Granted the US postal code system is pretty impressive. And today of all days, I must bow to it in appreciate. For in the US it is Zip Code Day. If you live in a good one... hooray. If you live in one at all... hooray. In Canada we have a system all right. It seems to resemble the system in Britain, only not quite that organized or geographically based. It appears to be nothing more than a series of alternating letters and numbers that make up some kind of 'system' that only Postee's and the Census Bureau can decifer. .
For July 4 I will be back in Canada in a postal code that begins with V. I suspect this stands for Vancouver. I once lived in a postal code that also started with V but I was living in Campbell River. Prior to that, a postal code that started with P - but there wasn't a city, municipality or town around that I can come up with that started with P. I just don't understand the system as it were. But I digress.
To celbrate the 4th of July in Canada I will get charged extra for the blue balloons, but I won't have to provide a picture of the American flag... We know what that looks like in Canada. It looks a lot like our big brother's favorite teeshirt that we hope to grow in to one day. Recently a friend from Colorado took an oath to become a Canadian citizen. This will be her first truly Canadian Canada day. It is for her that I struggled with the bakery bubba that did not know what her new flag looks like. Did I mention this was but an hour or so south of the Canada-US border and a city that just hosted the Olympic winter games? I wonder how easy it will be to order a Stars and Stripes flag cake on Sunday? Bet you I can get a pre-decorated icecream cake and not even have to call ahead. Still, given a green card or a work permit I would be here (south of the 49th) in a moment. I may find the over-inflated sense of patriotism a little thick to swallow sometimes, but anything can be washed down with a little highland liquid. I wonder when Scotland Day is? I could celebrate that anywhere... all you need is a tartan skirt and a fiftth.
Zip codes are quite a sorting system. It's like the Dewey Decimal System for houses. A way to sort where you live, how much you earn, and your preference in coffee shop without actually asking you anything more than your zip. My current zip would suggest I will be celebrating the fourth of July, but like any good odd ball, I shall spend Canada Day in the USA and Independence Day in Canada. It could have it's challenges. For starters, I ordered a cake on Monday in the shape (should be easy) and pattern (also should be pretty straigh forward) of a Canadian flag for the occasion. I am in the US, not THAT far from the border, and I was asked if I could provide a picture of the flag for the decorator. Who knew the Canadian flag was so unusual? Then I went searching for a Canadian anything to go with the cake. I had to settle for red and white balloons. I still had to pay for the blue ones, I just asked that they not inflate the ones that were blue. Initially I got some confusion, and finally I got some dirty 'you must keep slaves in the garage' looks. I do keep something in the garage, but he doesn't answer to slave anymore. He prefers "porter". This is a zip code that you would be convinced is miles away from all other civilization. Granted the US postal code system is pretty impressive. And today of all days, I must bow to it in appreciate. For in the US it is Zip Code Day. If you live in a good one... hooray. If you live in one at all... hooray. In Canada we have a system all right. It seems to resemble the system in Britain, only not quite that organized or geographically based. It appears to be nothing more than a series of alternating letters and numbers that make up some kind of 'system' that only Postee's and the Census Bureau can decifer. .
For July 4 I will be back in Canada in a postal code that begins with V. I suspect this stands for Vancouver. I once lived in a postal code that also started with V but I was living in Campbell River. Prior to that, a postal code that started with P - but there wasn't a city, municipality or town around that I can come up with that started with P. I just don't understand the system as it were. But I digress.
To celbrate the 4th of July in Canada I will get charged extra for the blue balloons, but I won't have to provide a picture of the American flag... We know what that looks like in Canada. It looks a lot like our big brother's favorite teeshirt that we hope to grow in to one day. Recently a friend from Colorado took an oath to become a Canadian citizen. This will be her first truly Canadian Canada day. It is for her that I struggled with the bakery bubba that did not know what her new flag looks like. Did I mention this was but an hour or so south of the Canada-US border and a city that just hosted the Olympic winter games? I wonder how easy it will be to order a Stars and Stripes flag cake on Sunday? Bet you I can get a pre-decorated icecream cake and not even have to call ahead. Still, given a green card or a work permit I would be here (south of the 49th) in a moment. I may find the over-inflated sense of patriotism a little thick to swallow sometimes, but anything can be washed down with a little highland liquid. I wonder when Scotland Day is? I could celebrate that anywhere... all you need is a tartan skirt and a fiftth.
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