50 Days and Counting

Thursday, February 19, 2009 - We are 50 days in to the year. How are your New Year's resolutions holding up? Do you still remember what they were? Did you remember on day 9? Each year I make a resolution that rarely lasts past day 28. I occasionally get 4 weeks out of my resolve to change something.

This year, I resolved to be wrong... once in a while. Put another way, I made a resolution to admit when I'd made a mistake. After all, I don't always need to be right. Right? True to form, by the 29th, I realized I was right. Or so I thought. Yesterday, I was wrong. I had to admit that I erred and I didn't implode. So on day 49... My resolution is still alive. Wahoo. Wait. Crap. Does that mean that next year's resolution will need to be more carefully thought out? From 28 to 49 days really raises the bar for me.

2010 will be the start of a new decade and great care must be taken for decade resolutions. I wonder if I can go 50 days without chocolate? I've given up sugar for lent. I last until late afternoon on Ash Wednesday. It is Chocolate Mint Day today. Will that be the target? That would create a new 50 day marker. It can be done. Really.

It is also International Mother Language Day. My mother language is English. Well, Scots brogue perhaps, but underneath the rolling "R" it is still English. I watch with wonder as friends fall in and out of their mother tongue and English as though they are separate yet inherently the same. I may be able to roll in and out of a bad Scottish accent, but I'm not sure if it counts. Aye, but then ag'in, och they be a feu who canna oonderstan wee Scots. I doubt there is an ESL course for the likes, but I'm certain that would be one entertaining course. Och, ne'r ya mine, Celebrate anyway. Here's tae ye... or should I say hey is Jambo, Gesondheid, Salud, Gezuar, Prost, Topa, Nien Nien, Gan bei, Na zdrai, Skaal, Je via sano, Slainte Mhor, Cin cin, L'chaim, A la sature, Djam, Salute!

Batteries Not Included

Wednesday, February 18, 2009 - So it's Hump Day. I bet you read that title and think this post is going to run on the hump theme. Nope. It's all about Wednesday. The middle of the work week that says we've past the hump and are on the downward run to the weekend. There are so many things about Wednesday that we should try to remember each and every week. Firstly, it is by far the hardest day of the week to spell. That says it all. Secondly, the morning will drag - it's the last hike to the summit. Lunch time is the top of that mountain. Plant your flag, crack open your bucket, and enjoy your sandwich at the apex of the hill. Thirdly, you have to be sure you've waxed your toboggan, or the ride to Friday will not be a smooth one. Hope that you built a good foundation of work on the way up that hill. The ride down is fast, and if you thought you would get to it later in the week.... too late. It IS later in the week, and I'm betting you are still counting on Thursday and Friday to get it done. I have news for you... it won't get done. You have passed the hump and from here.... weeeeeee!!!!!!

Ok, Wednesday isn't that interesting. There are, after all, 52 of them in a year. Nothing special there. Ah... but to make Wednesday the true apex of the week, today is also Drink Too Much Wine Day. Now we're talking. I bet we'll get to those batteries now right? Nope. Really? You have to work in the morning anyway. How much wine is too much? A glass with dinner? A bottle with appys? Maybe a case with a friend? Everyone has a limit, and I can only hope that if your limits make Thursday painful, you have missed the beauty of Wednesday. Oh well, you weren't going to get anything done tomorrow anyway.

So back to those batteries... since you aren't going to get anything done tomorrow, you may as well take a fresh pack of batteries out of the fridge and charge up your Rock Band guitar. Today is also Battery Day - use them up. After all, you always have next week to get the work done.

My Spirit Your Way

Tuesday, February 17, 2009 - There are some people in the world that you can sense coming in to a room. You know they are there before you actually know they are there. I could understand if it was a deep connection you have with someone and you connect in so many other ways. But I'm not talking about a lover, a soul mate, or a deeply connected sibling. I am talking about those strangers that walk in a room and not because of great beauty or stature, the whole room turns. What is it that causes you to feel their presence?

I've oft heard that my ego enters the room before I arrive. I work with a guy whose ego enters the building before his car gets through the security gate. Is it ego? I've been told I walk in to a room and I own it. My boss at work can command a theater - and not because he has a loud or boisterous personality, but because he just has that 'something' that says I'm here. So it isn't loud. It isn't obnoxiousness. It isn't ego. I think what is most amazing about all of this is those who possess this yet to be described thing aren't often aware of it at all. Perhaps that is exactly the answer. It is a spirit of humanity that says the most with the least. Like the proverbial picture that tells a thousand words - it says so much and says nothing.

Whether you have that certain 'something' or if your 'something' is a tad quieter, it matters not. Today is a day to celebrate the spirit in each and every one of us. It is World Human Spirit Day. Celebrate yours. Celebrate mine. Celebrate the spirit of the stranger in the elevator (but DON'T celebrate the strangers' smells - that is another day). Celebrate the spirit that makes us human - present and past. Among all - be proud to be part of the human spirit. Even in times of war and ignited violet passions, under it all, there is good that connects us all.

In 1958 Pope Pius XII declared Saint Clare of Assisi the patron saint of television. I wonder if Pope Pius had any idea what television would bring to society in the future? Do you think he knew just how much spirit the idiot box would suck right out of humanity and believed we needed a patron saint to protect us FROM the television? I have no personal experience of what life was like before television, but I can tell you that growing up with a television always there, it is part of life that I think I'd have a hard time giving up.

Friends are off to the Bahamas in a few days. They will be without television and without 24 hour unlimited access to the internet. I wonder what will be the easier withdrawal? If you had your way, and had to give up one, would you go without the idiot box? Would it be easier to give up the net? If I had my way, I'd bring my computer with me, pray for WiFi, and pick up TV feed online. If I had my way, I would not only have my net and tv too, but I'd be in the Bahamas soaking up broadband sun. Today is My Way Day. Go ahead and do whatever it is you want to do... but do it your way. You deserve it. Your part of the larger human spirit that connects the world.

If the Muppets Ruled the World

Monday, February 16, 2009 - In a perfect world, the world would be a happy place full of friendship, colourful characters, educational opportunities and song. There would be frogs and chickens and pigs that sing. Dogs would play the piano and rats would manage the band.

Imagine the last election campaign (you know the one...it lasted four years). Obama would be Fozzie Bear - forever the optimist and good natured when heckled. His jokes aren't always that funny, and his policies would always be slammed.

Bert and Ernie would be chairing the news desk at CNN. A little bit conservative, a little bit liberal - they could replace Rick Sanchez and Jack Cafferty. Statler and Waldorf would be on Fox News. No matter how well Fozzie was doing, they would be certain to find a flaw or two.

George W. would have been played by Beaker. A muppet that could rarely get real words out and when he did, they are most certainly wrong. Clinton could be played by Gonzo. Always chasing chickens and really - it's a fetish I just don't want to know about.

But what about past presidents? Could JFK be re-incarnated as Kermit the Frog? Kermit is logical, presentable, and keeping things together. And what would the world look like if Grover ran the country? I'm guessing he would want to be a part of things both near and far. He could bring people together. After all, who doesn't love Grover?

If Swedish Chef ruled the world life would be one big Smorgasbord-ee. But given I think Swedish Chef is a Republican, we would spend the rest of our lives lined up at the buffet tables and by the time the regular people got there, the meatballs would be gone and all that would be left would be overcooked macaroni.

Today is President's Day. There aren't any big traditional celebrations wrapped around President's Day, but there are the requisite sales and 24 hour news coverage.

It is also Do a Grouch a Favor Day. Are there any Oscar's in your life? Perhaps doing something nice for them would turn them around a little. It might not get them out of their can, but it could cheer them up a little. If that doesn't work, you could always sing them a song. Mahna Mahna!

Wave your Canadian Condom

February 15, 2009 - In 1965, Canada adopted the red and white maple leaf design for the official Canadian flag. It replaced the old red ensign which was a modified Union flag with a red background and the official Canadian Coat of Arms. Ultimately, I think the former flag said more about Canada than does the maple leaf. But if you think about it longer, surely the maple leaf says plenty.

Canadians are colourful. The maple tree provides a marvel of nature in the fall, turning green space into a rainbow of yellows, golds, oranges, reds and rusts. Canadians respect the nature around them. The maple leaf falls from a tree. The maple leaf has three major sections - and without the bumpy bits, looks alot like a leaf of marijuana. Now THAT is Canadian. (And especially West Coast). Perhaps the flag is the closest thing we have to promoting the west.

I once went online to look for flags and graphics of flags. While my boss stood over my shoulder, I typed in flags.com only I missed the "L". I brought up all kinds of pictures alright, but there wasn't a flag wrapped around one of them. So today, I went to look up Flag Day and missed the "L" again. We'll get to what I found another day. In the mean time, Canadians will celebrate Flag Day. Well, actually, Canadians will likely not have a clue it's flag day, and they'll just go about their usual business. If they KNEW it was flag day, I bet they would have celebrated with a pint and a flag.

A few years later, sound recordings were granted a US Federal Copyright for the first time ever. Without this copyright, there would never have been need for Napster, LimeWire, or Kazaa. And just think of how much fun RockBand would be today?

It is also the day after Valentine's Day. That makes it Singles Awareness Day. It's also the kickoff to National Condom Week. Is it just me or does this make sense? Shouldn't Singles Awareness Day be the kickoff to Battery Awareness Week? Just a thought.

Have a heart?

Saturday, February 14, 2009 - There are months where flower sales merely limp along. May is always good because so many of us have absolutely no idea what to give our mothers on her day. June isn't too bad either - its a big wedding month. And, because so many of us have absolutely no idea what to give our spouses, anniversaries are good for the local flower shop. Poinsettias sell well in December, and daffodils do well in April. But other than Valentine's Day, flower sales pretty much rely on men who have done something wrong, or are about to do something wrong.

There are the "sorry I didn't call" flowers (lilies), the "I didn't mean what I said" flowers (carnations), the "I'm going to disappoint you this weekend" flowers (daisies and yellow carnations), "I'm really going to messed up" flowers (pink roses), and "I really messed up" flowers (red roses). Fortunately, men continue to mess up. Come to think of it, so do us girls. That's when you have to send the "oh crap, did I really do that" flowers (bouquet of cigars and a vase of scotch). I wonder what Claudius the Cruel sent to Saint Valentine's family back in 270 after he beheaded him? Did FTD have a "I'm sorry I took your head" arrangement?

We believe that Valentines day is a day about romance and love. If this is love...

• February 14, 270 - Saint Valentine Loses his head
• February 14, 1349 - 2,000 Jews are burned to death or chased out of the city of Strasbourg.
• February 14, 1779 - James Cook is killed by Native Hawaiians on the Island of Hawaii.
• February 14, 1929 - St. Valentine's Day Massacre: Seven gangsters are murdered in Chicago
• February 14, 1981 - Stardust Disaster: A fire in a Dublin nightclub kills 48 people
• February 14, 1989 - Khomeini issues a fatwa to kill Salman Rushdie
• February 14, 1990 - 92 people are killed aboard Indian Airlines Flight 605
  
• February 14, 1996 - China launches a satellite rocket that crashes into a rural village.
• February 14, 2008 - Northern Illinois University shooting: 24 casualties; 6 fatalities and 18 injured.

I'm going to guess that FTD has had to come up with much more than the "Oops" bouquet. Of course it is also Organ Donor Day. If you haven't already, sign your donor card. If you are ever in a position to donate your organs, please do. You won't need them any longer and it could make the difference to another. After all, today is all about hearts. Give yours.