Monday, February 16, 2009

If the Muppets Ruled the World

Monday, February 16, 2009 - In a perfect world, the world would be a happy place full of friendship, colourful characters, educational opportunities and song. There would be frogs and chickens and pigs that sing. Dogs would play the piano and rats would manage the band.

Imagine the last election campaign (you know the lasted four years). Obama would be Fozzie Bear - forever the optimist and good natured when heckled. His jokes aren't always that funny, and his policies would always be slammed.

Bert and Ernie would be chairing the news desk at CNN. A little bit conservative, a little bit liberal - they could replace Rick Sanchez and Jack Cafferty. Statler and Waldorf would be on Fox News. No matter how well Fozzie was doing, they would be certain to find a flaw or two.

George W. would have been played by Beaker. A muppet that could rarely get real words out and when he did, they are most certainly wrong. Clinton could be played by Gonzo. Always chasing chickens and really - it's a fetish I just don't want to know about.

But what about past presidents? Could JFK be re-incarnated as Kermit the Frog? Kermit is logical, presentable, and keeping things together. And what would the world look like if Grover ran the country? I'm guessing he would want to be a part of things both near and far. He could bring people together. After all, who doesn't love Grover?

If Swedish Chef ruled the world life would be one big Smorgasbord-ee. But given I think Swedish Chef is a Republican, we would spend the rest of our lives lined up at the buffet tables and by the time the regular people got there, the meatballs would be gone and all that would be left would be overcooked macaroni.

Today is President's Day. There aren't any big traditional celebrations wrapped around President's Day, but there are the requisite sales and 24 hour news coverage.

It is also Do a Grouch a Favor Day. Are there any Oscar's in your life? Perhaps doing something nice for them would turn them around a little. It might not get them out of their can, but it could cheer them up a little. If that doesn't work, you could always sing them a song. Mahna Mahna!

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